A Ghost Story



Quarters One shortly after construction in the late 1880s

Every evening she wanders through the large and lonely rooms of Quarters One, softly crying in the dark, waiting an eternity for her true love to return from the war...
Eek! Brakes... record scratch, wait a minute...that would be me, wrong story...sorry!
Now, let me start again...
You can not live in 123 year old quarters on an old Army post in the mid-west without there being many tales of ghosts. I've heard first hand accounts from my neighbors who have had some very unnerving experiences in their own quarters. Windows and drawers opening mysteriously, beds shaking, and angry banging of doors and stomping of feet. I hope, as I write this, that these ghosts don't have migratory patterns! I'm not sure about my own beliefs in ghosts. I do believe, however, that if an idea seeps into your sub-conscious it can manifest itself in some very strange ways.
I'll share some stories with you...
 When we first moved in, our dog Camy, would jump up in the middle of the night, (I was never sure what she heard as she was nearly deaf) run down the hall, down the stairs, and then race around the dining room table. After several nights of this exhausting behavior I asked out loud, to no one in particular, that this stop and it did.  As I mentioned in my previous blog, the night I brought Camy's ashes home I heard the pitter patter of her paws down our hall and it was so startling I jumped out of my chair to investigate.  
One afternoon, when my daughter was home alone, she heard someone calling Bill's name. We all thought it was her imagination until a few days later when I heard the same thing! It turned out to be a lady on tv calling for "help" not "Bill". At least that's the story I'm sticking to. Once during a dinner party our dining room chandelier faded on and off each time I denied the presence of ghosts in the house. We discovered there was an electrical issue, but, I'm still not sure how the timing was so exact?
 
I've never seen the "night watchman" who is supposed to guard the grounds between Quarters One and Two. The detached garage was built in the 1940's so I'm not sure if that has interfered with his path or it just blocks my view of him. Once or twice I have seen a shadowy figure on the front porch, could this be the watchman in search of a better spot to keep watch? 

The detached garage at Quarters One was built in the 1940s

One of the previous occupants reported that pictures had mysteriously been switched from one location to another. When we first moved into Quarters One, I was told by an interior decorator  that I had "excellent picture placement" and the next day my neighbor had 4 pictures randomly taken off her wall and placed on the floor. So, maybe ghosts do roam once their purpose is served?!

   Almost everyone who has slept in the guest bedroom at the top of the stairs has reported hearing footsteps coming up the stairs or from the rooms above. Although, I haven't heard them personally, I have noticed on some occasions that the bedspread on this bed sometimes looks as if someone has been sitting on it when I am the only one home.

This is a beautiful staircase but there is another back staircase used by servants in the early days of Q1.  Our pup refused to go up and down the back staircase and I never use them either.

Several other residents of Quarters One have reported seeing a man sitting on this bench that looks out towards Forsythe Ave. and the Cavalry Parade field. Maybe he chooses to pause here before he makes his way up the stairs at night?

Great spot for reflecting on a beautiful Kansas evening

Music and rustling skirts has been reported coming from the third floor "ballroom" of Quarters One, but contrary to popular belief, there was never a ballroom on this floor of the house so I don't think these reports are accurate. This floor was designed as servants quarters in 1888 and serves as bedrooms for us today.

We made the common area on the third floor into another bedroom.

As imposing as Quarters One seems, it is truly a lovely home. It is full of 123 years of love and happy memories.  While occasionally the sheer size of the house makes me feel like I should look over my shoulder, most of the time I am not afraid when I'm in Quarters One alone. I feel blessed to be a small part of it's rich history. 
If you are in the Fort Riley area be sure to check out the Ghost Tours on October 28, 2012 from 4-7 sponsored by the Historical and Archaeological Society of Fort Riley. 
And remember, you shouldn't believe everything you hear...
or should you?
For more about Quarters One follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/quartersone. 
'Til next time...Duty First! 

UPDATE: While looking back over this post, I wanted to add that shortly after my husband re-deployed we BOTH began hearing footsteps coming down the hall on the second floor…can't explain it but we did hear them!

Brown Dog

Camy

She came tumbling out of a box of six small puppies on the front lawn of Campground Methodist Church in Fayetteville, NC. Some blond, some black, and one feisty brown and red.  She couldn't have been more than 4 pounds of fluff. Her owner said she was almost 6 weeks old, a mix between and long-haired Dachshund and a Pomeranian. They named her "Juliette" but we called her Camy. An acronym of sorts for my children Chas, Andrew, Margie. (The 'y' came later since all names seem cuter with a 'y' at the end.) For some reason, Bill always called her "Brown Dog".

We brought  Camy home and she quickly won us all over...except maybe our black lab, Tinley, who was not quite sure what to make of this ball of energy. Camy ruled the roost. I think she firmly believed she was also a black lab and acted accordingly. Chasing much larger neighborhood dogs and other creatures, she was fearless. She was also full of joy. She loved the woods, the ocean (she was a great swimmer) and kept up with her much larger companion with out a misstep.  She always seemed thoroughly  mortified if anyone picked her up. She would get this look on her sweet face that said "You know I'm a black lab, right?"  We even started to tell everyone that's what she was!

She loved to swim

Always looking for the next adventure

She was a great traveler, as all Army Brats are.  We moved with Camy and Tinley to Newport, RI then to Vicenza, Italy and next to Stuttgart, Germany.  We lost Tinley in Germany. She went down quickly which I guess was a blessing. We mourned for her...all of us, including Camy, who seemed to looked for her everywhere.  

When we moved back to NC Camy was 10 years old. Her little face starting to gray but mind and body still behaving like a puppy. She would run for golf balls, leap after squirrels, bark at the doorbell, and welcome anyone into the house with unconditional love. 

The children went to college, Bill deployed, and she was my constant companion. She would jump happily into my Mini Cooper and we would take off to visit friends and family.

In February of 2012 she turned 14 and I could tell her hearing wasn't as sharp but her spirit was going strong. Bill  deployed again and I was grateful to have this pup here at Quarters One.  She was a small dog but she had enough energy to fill up  9,000 square feet of old house.

Ever watchful on the porch at Quarters One

For Camy, the end came quickly, too. Our veterinarian, Dr. Casey Thomas, was caring and kind.  To be alone and have to make the decision to let my old girl go was the hardest, and saddest, decision of my life. The final day of summer I said good-bye.

 I miss her boundless joy and her happiness for just being alive. I miss her companionship and devotion. I spent more time with Camy in the past 14 years than I have with my husband. I literally walk around  Quarters One crying shoulder shaking sobs. My heart is broken and my soul is bruised. Her bed sits empty, I can't bear to move it since it still has the imprint of her little body the last time she lay there. Her ashes are tucked safely in a small box and someday, when we go home, we'll free them unto the places she loved the most.
I  swear the night I brought them home I heard the tip tapping of her little paws on our hardwood floors, ever so briefly, just to say goodbye before she ran off after a new adventure.

My sweet friend, I will always miss you I feel blessed to have loved and been loved by you

Thank you to my amazing group of neighbors, friends and family who understand what it means to lose a pet who is so dear to your heart...I sincerely thank you for your support.
'Til Next Time...Duty First

The Gatherings on the Prairie

The Gatherings re-opens September 28 at 10 am!

Winter holidays bring happiness and when the holidays arrive in September it is pure JOY!  That's exactly what happens outside of the gates of Fort Riley in a fabulous little shop called
 "The Gatherings on the Prairie".
Days after we moved into Quarters One my friend, Theresa, introduced me to Rob Dudley and Rick Munson, the proprietors of the Gatherings, and I became their biggest fan!

It's where the Army sends us..I'm so glad it sent us to Fort Riley!

All year long the Gatherings is filled with beautiful home decor and things you never knew you needed.  It is my absolute go to place for gifts large and small and it's my number one destination spot when I have a decorating dilemma...there is plenty of help and talent to be found with in these well decorated walls.
But, ahhh, September...that's when the magic really happens! The Gatherings shutters their windows and doors for two weeks and the store is totally transformed into a Winter Wonderland.  I, mistakenly, missed out on the first few weeks of the Gatherings holiday season last year. A mistake I will not repeat this year! I was honored to be able to take a sneak peek of the store and I am excited to share my photos with you. Even if you don't live in  Kansas I hope you'll enjoy this pictorial tour and maybe get some great ideas for 2012. And if there's some thing you really love, give Rob a call, he might just be able to make your Christmas wish come true!

These wonderful Christmas pillows, many of which are Rob's own designs, will make you feel  Very Merry!

Happy!

Red is in the house! Amaryllis, velvet ribbon, antiqued ornaments....perfect for "Big Red One" decorating!

Rob used the term "Rustic Glitz" to describe this year's holiday theme...I think he made that up on the spot but I love the way it sounds and the way it looks!  

I believe!

No matter the season, each time I walk through the doors of The Gatherings I am excited to see all the sweet things it has to offer. More than that I am excited to see my friend, Rob. When the day comes for us to leave Quarters One and Fort Riley I know that the most precious gift  that I will take with me from the Gatherings is that of friendship.

Thank you, Rob and Rick, (and Susan, too!) for truly creating a place where we can all gather on the prairie...and for being so good to me and all of my Army Family.

I'm dreaming....

The Gatherings on the Prairie
615 North Washington Street, Junction City, KS
785-238-7300
Mon-Fri 10-6 and Sat 10-4 (Closed Sunday)

If you would like to see more photos of The Gatherings on the Prairie look for us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Quartersone . You can also visit (and like!) the Gatherings on Facebook.
'Til next time....Duty First!

Remembrance

All over the country, and indeed, all over the world a few days ago we remembered the acts both terrible and heroic of September 11, 2001. Eleven years ago I sat with my best friend, Lisa, in a parking lot  in Newport, RI drinking Dunkin Donuts coffee and listening to the radio.  We were incredulous that such news about the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and a remote field in Pennsylvania was unfolding before us.  I remember being thankful that our children were tucked safely in school and we could shield them from the horror of the day.

I could never have imagined that we would be where we are eleven years later.  Like so many others, the tempo of our lives forever changed that day.  Between us, Lisa and I have five children that have graduated or are attending the United States Military Academy.  My oldest son has deployed twice and my youngest son deploys this winter....all having followed their fathers' footsteps into what we proudly, and a little grudgingly, call "the family business".

My sons have lost more friends than any one should at such young ages. I grieve with my children and for my children over the deaths of their brave and honorable friends. 

At our 9/11 Memorial ceremony, I sat and listened to the roll call of names of the Big Red One Soldiers that gave their lives this year and I couldn't help but think of their mothers. Each name, so thoughtfully picked out when they were born.  Each mother tenderly holding that sweet new baby whispering blessings for a long and prosperous life filled with love and laughter.  No mother thinking of a time that her precious child, whose name she chose ever so carefully, would grow up to have their name read at a public memorial ceremony honoring their ultimate sacrifice.  My heart is broken in a million pieces for mothers who will never have another night of peaceful sleep.  

Almost everyone I know wears a KIA bracelet. Mine bears the name of SGT Andrew McConnell, a high school classmate of my sons'. An Army brat, Andrew was a serious, goal oriented young man and the oldest of five sisters.  I remember him fondly and his burning desire to join the Army.  Andrew was killed Sept 14, 2009 in Afghanistan.  I think of his mother often and I grieve with her from afar.

I don't believe we live in a fully grateful nation. I believe there are far too many of our fellow citizens who 'do not know and do not care to know how we live' and the sacrifices our sons and daughters make of their own free will.  This small group of amazing people, "the less than 1%",  sacrifice so that we ALL may live without fear....I remember them, I remember their mothers, everyday...not just September 11th.... and you should too.

In memory of 

Ed Murphy

Andrew McConnell

Chase Prasnicki

Todd Lambka
Dimitri DelCastillo
Michael Cerrone
Faith Hinkley
David Lodwick

La Bella Luce

"Every lock should have a key and every key should have a tassel"

A tassel from Venice hangs on an armoire we bought in Germany
(Quarters One annex)

My dear friend, Aly, said this to me once as we whirled through a fabric market in Piazzola sul Brenta, Italy.  Quarters One, with it's French country and Italian villa decor, is partially the result of my long friendship with this fiery Cuban chick from Miami. I love her and her sense of style. Her amazing taste in decor and talent for entertaining makes her a remarkable woman.  Aly can turn any plain set of  quarters into something out of Home Beautiful overnight. Did I mention she is the wife of a deployed Soldier and taking great care of the families in their unit? Raising two children? And managing her shop "La Bella Luce" in Clifton, VA from Italy where they are stationed? Army Wife extraordinaire!

On Main Street in historic Clifton, VA
Pronounced La Bella LOO-CHAY meaning beautiful light

I don't think Aly even remembers saying the line above to me.  I think about it constantly as a metaphor for taking the most simple of things or spaces and making them beautiful.  Big or small, military quarters or a simple apartment, your space should tell your story in your own way.
 And don't put it off. Today is your day.
Here are some photos from La Bella Luce which always gives me great inspiration (not to mention unique treasures)  for much of Quarters One.  Stop in the next time you're on Main Street in Clifton for a good idea or a great find, you won't regret it.  If you can't get to the market in Piazzola sul Brenta then this is the next best thing!

Take ordinary and make it extraordinary
(and a chandelier is never out of place)

La Bella Luce's venue is an historic home, it makes it all the more fun to shop and get ideas

Italian wine jugs known as  damigiana (s)

Love this cucina

Another kitchen view

Sweet dreams

Even the bathroom is full of vintage finds

For more photos of historic Quarters One and La Bella Luce visit us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/QuartersOne
'Til next time...
Duty First!

Part Two of Beyond Place Settings and Receiving Lines: Ten Things the Commander's Wife Wishes She Could Tell You

A revised version...

On the set of Army Wives, LTG Holden (Brian McNamara) explaining to Chas and I how much generals appreciate being invited to a party! He is a really great guy and he does look a little like Bill.
 (A slight bending of rule #8!)

5.  COMMANDERS ARE PEOPLE TOO...your commander and spouse may not always be available to socialize but they do appreciate being invited to parties and neighborhood get togethers.   People don't always feel they can be themselves when the commander is around so my advice to the commander is not to stay too long! Join the fun for a little while and then let the rest of the party goers do their thing. (as to not break rule # 10!!)

Love a creatively wrapped gift!

4. THANK YOU NOTES and HOSTESS GIFTS.... thank you notes, YES, always write them! They should be prompt and formally addressed to your host and hostess even if you're on a first name basis. Technically, they should be written after the function even if you brought a hostess gift.
When you're invited to an event in someone's quarters bringing a small hostess gift is a thoughtful gesture.  Bring something appropriate for the time of day and event.  Sometimes the invitation will read, "No Hostess Gifts", this request should always be respected.
There are formal protocol events that are held in the home of general officers which do not require you bring hostess gifts. You can check with your local protocol office for guidance.
A note about coffee groups, the commander's spouse should always bring a gift to the hostess on behalf of the entire coffee group.

Chandelier and clocks hanging in La Bella Luce, one of my favorite stores and future blogs!

3.  TO BE OR NOT TO BE (Late, Early, or On Time)...NEVER,  please NEVER, arrive earlier than the invitation states.  Don't ring the bell and say you're there to help, if the hostess needed help she would have asked for it.  Don't make an excuse for coming early because this is something you control...pass the time by waiting in your car or walking around the block.
Do arrive ON TIME or within 15 minutes of the designated time. If you're going to be too much later, especially if there is a dinner involved, please call and let your hostess know you're running late. Don't email and don't text at the last minute.
You must be ON TIME, never late, to an event that has a designated time block as you are only allotted a certain amount of time for the visit. Watch your time and say your good-byes according to the time on your invitation.

Army wives coffee, circa 1960, back in the day when your husband could be reprimanded for your lack of decorum.  I'm glad those days are behind us. (My lovely mother-in-law in standing in the dark dress!)

2. WHAT SHOULD I WEAR... Today, there are all sorts of new"dress codes" with quirky names like casual elegance, cowboy formal (huh?), informal but formally known as casual.  Seriously, it is no wonder nobody knows how to dress for anything! My first piece of advice is if you'd wear it to bed then you probably shouldn't wear it to a ball,  a redeployment ceremony, an FRG meeting, or the commissary...just to name a few.  That goes for pajama variations and all other assortments of skimpy and ill-fitting outfits.
When it comes to military functions, I believe in leading by example. But the bottom line is, as seasoned spouses, we can't make other spouses wear what we think is appropriate.  What you wear shows your respect, or LACK of respect, for the  military uniform that your spouse wears.  He or she wears that uniform proudly and your dress should compliment your spouse and reflect their commitment to their unit, service, and our country. Remember, no matter who you are someone is watching you. You are always an example for someone...so be a good one in your actions and appearance.

A timeless quote from a Facebook posting by my beautiful and fashionable friend, Gaby.

1.  RSVP, RSVP, RSVP!!!!!  RSVP means "repondez s'il vous plait" which basically translates "I INVITED YOU SO TELL ME IF YOU'RE COMING OR NOT"! (Ok, so that's not the literal translation!)  If someone is kind enough to send you an invitation be kind enough to respond.  You really don't want to get a call from the commander's office asking if you're coming to an event because you or your spouse have forgotten to RSVP.  And for heaven's sake, if you do forget, DON'T show up thinking it will be ok. You will only embarrass yourself and your hostess who will have assumed by that time you aren't coming...and you don't care.  Please call and apologize or explain.
If you RSVP "yes" for a paying event and then find out you can't make it YOU ARE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYING unless you've made appropriate arrangements with the sponsor of the event. This goes for formals, welcomes, farewells, ect.
If you don't remember anything else about protocol, please, at least remember to RSVP…and don't arrive early!

Photo of our guest book taken by our PAO at Fort Riley.

If you'd like more tips on protocol and military etiquette, I highly recommend the online document "Basics From the Barracks" written by the spouses of the Army War College class of 2010-2011.
 If you're interested in more on Quarters One follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/QuartersOne
'Til next time...
Duty First!

Beyond Place Settings and Receiving Lines: Ten Things the Commander's Wife Wishes She Could Tell You

My favorite quote from the book "Well- Behaved Women Seldom Make History" by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
This sign sits in my home office.

Part One of a Two Part Series...
Several years ago I was asked to give a protocol presentation to a coffee group. Since there is more written about protocol than you can discuss in 10 years I decided to take a different approach. I asked all of my friends who were spouses of brigade and division commanders, other senior officers, and senior NCOs ... if they could give one piece of social advice to the spouses in their unit, what would it be? This is the result. I have briefed this many times and, believe it or not, I have spouses who want to argue some of the points. 
You would think this would be common sense but you'd be surprised!
At any rate, agree or not, these are the results of my poll and I will say that I concur with them all.  I love the saying above and I do believe that it is possible to be "well-behaved" and express yourself creatively. 

 10.  ALCOHOL...please watch the consumption of it. Nothing is as uncomfortable at an official social event as an intoxicated spouse (or Soldier).  There is nothing pretty about a drunk...and it will be remembered and these days most likely photographed and posted on all sorts of social media.  That will follow you, and your spouse's career, forever.

9.  SOCIAL MEDIA and GOSSIP...my dear friend Gina always says, "As an Army spouse there are things you want to say and things you get to say." Figure out which is which and be very careful about what you post, text, tweet, pin, tag...ect.  "Water and words are easy to pour but impossible to recover", goes the old proverb. Gossip of any type should never be tolerated by any of us or the spouses in our units.  We can never know the road someone walked to bring them where they are in life, it's not for us to judge, and certainly not for us to broadcast on any type of social media.

8.  STAY IN YOUR LANE....spouses do not hold rank. (unless of course they do, then that's another list!) Admittedly, the Army asks much of spouses because of their Soldier's rank or job but under no circumstances do spouses have authority over military personnel...EVER. 
We can, and should, form a working relationship with our Soldier's personal staff and/or rear detachment but our relationship should be one of cooperation and respect. These Soldiers (and their spouses) are never under our command nor should they ever be threatened or warned as if they were. Along the same note, while it is wonderful to be proud of our spouses it is equally as wonderful to be humble. Talking about rank, evaluations, rates of promotion, or "who you know" is distasteful.

7.  COFFEE GROUPS...If your unit has a coffee group and you participate you really should take a turn hosting.  If you're not comfortable hosting in your home it is certainly acceptable to make arrangements at a restaurant or other venue. (Or outside under that beautiful chandelier!) However, since you are the hostess for this event you should provide something for the group. A round of drinks, appetizers, small favors, something that puts your signature on the event, just as if you had opened your quarters.  Everyone will be so appreciative, especially the commander's spouse!

6. CHILDREN...the generally accepted rule is that children over the age of 6 months should not attend social functions that do not specifically state that children are welcome. 
Never bring children of any age to a formal. Never bring children to evening events such as Hail and Farewells or coffees unless they have been deemed acceptable for families. Not all events are appropriate for children! 
Never ask to bring children to a unit social function, especially in someone's home. This puts the hostess in an awkward position.  If no sitter can be found it's best to make your regrets with an explanation. This gives the hostess the opportunity to invite your children or to let you know that she looks forward to seeing you at another event.  

Well, this does it for Part One! If you're interested in more on Quarters One you can follow us at www.facebook.com/QuartersOne
'Til next time...
Duty First!