With Gratitude

A good day....the bed is made!

Wait...how did more than two months go by since I wrote on this blog?! Like so many other "things on my to do list"  this year it was put off for another day.  After many deployments I consider myself somewhat of an expert on goal setting and time management. For some reason, this deployment was different. (Having a child deployed, along with my husband, definitely doubled my anxiety.)  All the goals I set for myself like getting in better shape, brushing up on my Italian, and learning to play the guitar just completely slipped away from me.  (Maybe the guitar was a stretch anyway? )
There were too many days I was proud of myself for making the bed...ok...too many days I was proud of myself for getting out of the bed!

 The deal is, when the division commander deploys there's not an SOP (translation... standard operating procedure) for his or her spouse. In fact, there's not an SOP at all, ever.  No one lays it out and tells you what is expected of you. It's overwhelming. I have no official roll when he is gone (and only an unofficial role when he's here) and whatever role I wanted to play I had to create.  So, after I made the decision to get out of bed every morning, I decided I would just be myself.  That wasn't good enough for some people, and I make no apologies to them, but it worked for me.  I find that if you consistently play yourself you never forget your lines or miss your cues.

Every division commander's spouse feels differently about his or her place in their community. I see my role more like a cheerleader and guidance counselor than the class president. My place is on the sidelines and I let those who are much younger, and have much more energy, lead and make the tough decisions. I've been there and done that so now I choose to play a supporting part and I extend my gratitude to all. And my gratitude is sincere and heartfelt. I truly appreciate everything that is done in this community to make Fort Riley a better place to live...and wait. 

 I love to entertain and share Quarters One with as many people as possible. Any chance I get to open our home to say hello, farewell, or just thank you, I will take.  Hopefully, I have succeeded in making people feel welcome and appreciated. Even as I write this, I realize that there are so many spouses I didn't have a chance to connect with this year. I can only hope that everyone who did visit Quarters One left with a happy heart. 
I suppose if I re-evaluate and make my deployment goal a simpler one (hindsight is 20/20, after all) then it would have been to show my gratitude to everyone possible, whenever possible, and as many times as possible.
In that case, hopefully, I accomplished something after all.

If you want to know more about Quarters One you can follow us at www.Facebook.com/Quartersone.

'Til next time 

Duty First!

Wishing You a Peaceful New Year

Happy New Year and Peace on earth from Quarters One!

Military families and Soldiers wish for peace more than anyone else in the world. I'm no exception. As an  Army spouse, and mother of two Soldiers, my fervent wish for the New Year is that there be Peace on Earth.
I truly believe that peace begins at home, in our own backyards and neighborhoods. That's why I am always surprised when I hear military spouses bickering, gossiping, and being generally unsupportive of each other. Our husbands, wives, sons, and daughters are fighting and dying in Afghanistan and still there are those who seem to care more about who passed who without saying hello or who didn't attend a function someone thought important.
"Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me" goes the 1955 song.  Let peace begin with us by thinking before we speak, tweet, post, or write an email criticizing someone. No matter how much we think we know...we can never truly understand the path someone has traveled to bring them to the place they are today. From simple observation, or living in close proximity, there may be no indications as to who might be fighting for their lives, caring for elderly parents, dealing with a death in their family.  We can have no idea who may be bearing financial burdens or dealing with emotional trauma.
We have no idea why someone makes the decisions to be somewhere or do something we don't understand.
I am not immune to the criticism of others. And, truthfully, I'm not innocent of judging others either. But, I have learned a lot from a lifetime as a military spouse and one of the biggest lessons I've learned is this: no matter what we think we know about another person, we can never know everything, and we have absolutely no right to stand in judgement of anyone.
Fortunately, more often than not, I see countless spouses build each other up and support one another.  I see them forgive each other, love each other, and come together as family in this crazy Army life. They are ready with a bottle of wine, a shoulder, whispers of encouragement, or just a hug. I see so many spouses speak kindly and thoughtfully...and lead by quiet, positive example.  These actions do not go unnoticed.
But, if you are one of the few that don't have it, I wish for you a peace that "passes all understanding".
That you may love your neighbor, accept them with all of their faults, and embrace your differences. I wish that you will think twice, and then once more, before you form an opinion of anyone and unleash a judgment that can not be taken back. "Water and words, easy to pour but impossible to recover".

Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin right here with all of us.
'Til next time...

Happy New Year, Duty First!

(You can follow Quarters One on Facebook at www.facebook.com/QuartersOne)

Remembrance

All over the country, and indeed, all over the world a few days ago we remembered the acts both terrible and heroic of September 11, 2001. Eleven years ago I sat with my best friend, Lisa, in a parking lot  in Newport, RI drinking Dunkin Donuts coffee and listening to the radio.  We were incredulous that such news about the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and a remote field in Pennsylvania was unfolding before us.  I remember being thankful that our children were tucked safely in school and we could shield them from the horror of the day.

I could never have imagined that we would be where we are eleven years later.  Like so many others, the tempo of our lives forever changed that day.  Between us, Lisa and I have five children that have graduated or are attending the United States Military Academy.  My oldest son has deployed twice and my youngest son deploys this winter....all having followed their fathers' footsteps into what we proudly, and a little grudgingly, call "the family business".

My sons have lost more friends than any one should at such young ages. I grieve with my children and for my children over the deaths of their brave and honorable friends. 

At our 9/11 Memorial ceremony, I sat and listened to the roll call of names of the Big Red One Soldiers that gave their lives this year and I couldn't help but think of their mothers. Each name, so thoughtfully picked out when they were born.  Each mother tenderly holding that sweet new baby whispering blessings for a long and prosperous life filled with love and laughter.  No mother thinking of a time that her precious child, whose name she chose ever so carefully, would grow up to have their name read at a public memorial ceremony honoring their ultimate sacrifice.  My heart is broken in a million pieces for mothers who will never have another night of peaceful sleep.  

Almost everyone I know wears a KIA bracelet. Mine bears the name of SGT Andrew McConnell, a high school classmate of my sons'. An Army brat, Andrew was a serious, goal oriented young man and the oldest of five sisters.  I remember him fondly and his burning desire to join the Army.  Andrew was killed Sept 14, 2009 in Afghanistan.  I think of his mother often and I grieve with her from afar.

I don't believe we live in a fully grateful nation. I believe there are far too many of our fellow citizens who 'do not know and do not care to know how we live' and the sacrifices our sons and daughters make of their own free will.  This small group of amazing people, "the less than 1%",  sacrifice so that we ALL may live without fear....I remember them, I remember their mothers, everyday...not just September 11th.... and you should too.

In memory of 

Ed Murphy

Andrew McConnell

Chase Prasnicki

Todd Lambka
Dimitri DelCastillo
Michael Cerrone
Faith Hinkley
David Lodwick